Feeling stressed this Holiday season? Don't worry, you aren't alone. According to this study by the American Psychological Association (here), people in the United States feel an increased state of stress with a disproportionate increase related to women and people with lower income brackets.
This isn't surprising. While the season boasts joy, peace, love and celebration, it can also leave many people feeling over-taxed on their energy, budgets, and loneliness.
I was recently listening to a podcast from The Simple Ayurveda Podcast with Angela Perger and guest Dr. Dilip Jeste discussing the "Science of Wisdom." I was immediately intrigued and had to listen. In this episode, Dr. Jeste related the important findings that loneliness was felt in direct opposition to wisdom and that one of the best ways to cultivate wisdom was to increase more empathy and compassion. Our ability to have empathy and compassion for others (and ourselves) directly relates to our stress levels as well.
So what does this mean for the Holidays? Follow these 5 steps:
1) Shift your mindset from scarcity to abundance
Mindset refers to your mental attitude or inclination. Do you feel like you never have enough and there isn't enough to go around? Do you feel like happiness could be felt IF you had that one last thing? You aren't alone. The social marketing for the holidays truly makes us question and rethink our own possessions and ultimately--our worth. Making our happiness conditional on the accumulation of possessions and wealth or that there simply isn't enough to go around for everyone.
So how can we change this? Shifting our focus from what we don't have to what we do is the quickest way to get us into an abundance mindset. When we see that opportunity ins't finite and that we can get all that we need, then we can be set free from the limits of scarcity and enter into the infinite potential that is abundance.
2) Cultivate a gratitude practice
A daily practice of gratitude can help us ground into the present moment and express our gratitude for what we do have and what we experience. The Holidays can leave us in deep want (see previous point) and practicing gratitude can allow us to feel a more fullness of happiness, more compassion for others and ourselves, increase immunity and decrease stress--those are some impressive benefits.
A gratitude practice doesn't have to be Complicated or extensive. Make a list in your mind or journal about 5 things you are grateful for, you can even use your 5 senses, and do this daily. There is great power in speaking or writing gratitude into existence so consider this an opportunity to harness the power of words.
3) Participate in service for others
Self-care is essential--I'll say this until I am blue in the face. The reason for self-care isn't just to continually serve ourselves but to also serve others in return. This is the highest dharmic action we can take. When we serve others from a place of fullness and wholeness (thus why self-care is essential), we can serve with more purpose and greater magnitude.
Service to others cultivates feelings of compassion which has been shown to decrease stress levels and increase resilience. When we can "feel for others" and not actually "feel what they feel" (compassion vs. empathy), we tap into a concept of compassion that is common humanity . Common humanity helps us know that we aren't alone in our experiences or suffering, thus buffering some of the load and isolation that can all too often weigh us down during the Holidays.
4) Connect with elders in your community
In the podcast that I mentioned above, one of the greatest lessons that stuck with me was how learning from elders in our community can help increase our wellness and increase wisdom in the greater collective. Meaningful interaction with our elders not only improves our well-being but those of the elders. So reach out and find a way ton connect with elders around you this Holiday season and not only serve them, but learn from them too!
5) Let go of perfectionism and embrace the present moment
Perfectionism is a system that deepens negative thinking and in turn, increases our stress and anxiety. You can do a deep dive into the many systems that uphold perfectionism (as I have) and see just how oppressive this way of "all or nothing" living can be. Perfectionism perpetuates this idea to always achieve more and do better, usually at the cost of your health and wellness, leading to burn-out. This is where our bodies are in such a stressed out state (if you understand Ayurveda, this is HIGH PITTA), that your nervous system and supporting organs start to work against you. You are left feeling depleted, alone, stressed, anxious, and never enough.
One of the best practices that helps to heal the wounds of perfectionism is to "embrace the present moment." When perfectionism always demands more of us, it is hard to ever find this moment, right now, to be enough. When we do this, we rob ourselves of the joy and fullness that comes from presence moment awareness. When we draw our focus and attention into the present, we are able to activate parts of our nervous system that actually create more calm and stillness. This is like healing balm for over-worked, burnt out, perfectionism mind/body.
So this is your reminder that you are enough. Right now. Here in this present moment. You have always been enough.
I invite you to include these practices into your daily life this Holiday season and see what manifests. Don't add them to a "to-do" list and overburden yourself but simply make the time each day to check-in and see where you could include these practices to increase your well-being and decrease your stress.
May you find peace, joy, rest and abundance this Holiday season. May you share that light with others along the way.
Happy Holidays
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