Try these 3 practices to increase self-love and love for those around you.
February is here and you know what that means--Valentines Day. This day has become synonymous with overt declarations of love between couples, hoards of candy, and enough paper hearts to fill the calendar year. However, many people end up feeling neglected, wounded, and hollow.
This year, lets try something new. Instead of looking outward to receive the abundance of love we desire, let us seek inward and give it to ourselves. When we can care and nurture our own selves and fill our "love cup", we will more freely be able to offer this to others.
Try these 3 practices to increase self-love & love for those around you.
GIVE YOURSELF A HUG.
I know what you are thinking. NO thanks. Im not a child. But what if thats the part of you that needs it the most. What if the inner child we all have within us is just craving a hug, especially during times of anxiety, stress, judgement or any time emotions run high? What if a hug or hands over heart gave our nervous systems the sign that we are safe, we are loved, and we are cared for--and that was exactly what we needed?
I want you to try this: In the morning, before the day has begun and maybe even before you have left your bed, put your hands over heart or wrap your arms around yourself and just breathe. In and out. Breathe. Feel the warm radiate. Notice the way your breath slows and this might even bring you to tears. Let the emotions come. You've allowed yourself a safe space and hold what is there without fear. Consider including a short phrase such as "I see you" "You are going to be ok" "You are safe".
Once you've begun to build that relationship and practice with yourself, you can offer it during times where emotions are building and maybe you feel yourself tipping into overwhelm, anger, sadness, etc. Use the same posture--hands over heart, arms wrapped around you--and allow the nurturing to come from you for you. Include whatever phrase feels good to you and give yourself the gift of that care and compassion.
I know that as you build this practice your self-love will grow as it has with me.
2. TREAT YO' SELF
I'm a big fan of Parks & Rec (a hilarious and silly show if you need something like that in your life) and one of my favorite episodes has this revolutionary concept: "Treat yo' self."
In the show, Donna & Tom take off work once a year to literally have a full day to "Treat yo' self"--dinner, shopping, you name it! Now, we don't have to go shopping and buy ourselves all the animal prints we can find (IYKYK) but the idea that we can literally treat ourselves without shame or guilt was liberating! Why not? We don't need a list of reasons or excuses--we are worthy of care and love and treating ourselves exactly as we are.
So if its not a shopping spree, how can you "Treat yo' self?" That one is up to you. Maybe it's a night off and a long bath. Maybe it's time to dive into your favorite hobby and giving yourself that time is the treat. Maybe it's a good book, tea/coffee with a friend, using your favorite skin care items on a random night, dressing up & heading to dinner, dressing down & watching a movie.
Whatever it is, YOU get to decide. Your intention behind it makes all the different. The thoughts you think, the words you say, the care you take--it all matters. It can be as simple as a walk or finally booking that solo trip you've been scheming up. Thought it all, do it with love and truly, "Treat yo' self." Better yet, include a friend and "Treat yo' selves!"
3. LOVING KINDNESS/METTA MEDITATION
If you are new to meditation, maybe you've never heard of this practice. If you have been around the meditation scene for awhile, maybe you've tried this out. Either way, try this simple yet profound meditation to help increase self-love and love for others.
Find a quiet and distraction free zone in your house (or maybe you are outside).
Sit in an upright position, legs crossed, and palms facing down.
Close your eyes and draw your attention to your breath. In and out. Find a place in your body to connect to. Witness your breath rise and fall from this point of connection. Common places include your nostrils, back of the throat, chest & belly.
As thoughts arise and sensations come, allow them and let them be. The more avoidance and pushing away, the more resistance there is. If it is helpful, you can imagine these thoughts as passing clouds or a buoy taken away by the sea.
For as much time as you need, stay here in this present moment awareness. Breathing. Connecting. Allowing and releasing.
Once you've settled into a place where you are intone with your breath, we can begin the 5 steps of the Metta or Loving-Kindness Meditation.
You'll repeat this 4 phrases for each stage of the meditation:
May I/you be happy
May I/you be health
May I/you feel safe
May I/you live with ease
YOURSELF
Think of enveloping yourself in radiant light and love and repeat those four phrases using "I' pronoun.
*Note here, palms out to send that love and energy outward.
TO SOMEONE YOU ARE CLOSE TO
Think of someone you have an easy relationship with. Bring them into your mind and visualize them in front of you. Repeat those four phrases using "you" pronoun.
TO SOMEONE NEUTRAL
Think of someone you may know but don't have a relationship with. Maybe a postal worker or someone that you see walking their dog. Bring them to mind and repeat those four phrases using "you" pronoun.
TO SOMEONE DIFFICULT
Think of someone you may have a strained or difficult relationship with. Now, this isn't to bring to mind someone that causes you emotional pain and turmoil that causes you to shut down (or maybe not yet) so just think of someone that might rub you the wrong way. Repeat those four phrases using "you" pronoun.
TO THE WHOLE WORLD
Imagine the globe in front of you. Sending radiant energy and light around it, repeat those 4 phrases, wrapping the whole world & all beings in intentional love and light, using the "we" pronoun.
Now come back to your body, come back to your breath. Slowly reconnect and come to the present moment. Wiggle your fingers and toes. Slowly open the eyes and bring hands to heart center, extending up to third eye and close with "Namaste" or a phrase that brings you centeredness.
Try these practices and let me know what your experience is! Tag me in your social media posts @samastaayurveda !
Thank you for reading and I hope you have a beautiful day.
Namaste.
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